Tuesday, 16 February 2016

WHERE DOES MY HEART lie?

WHERE DOES MY HEART Lie?

Where the boat dances on top of the shimmering water,
Surrounded by harakeke using its long arms to greet me. 

Where, the King fishers glide along the water's edge
Looking with eagle eyes for a slimy fish to feed on.

Where the angry waves belly flop onto the sand.
And the sand monster sucks my feet in like quicksand.


Where the wood pigeon swoops up the valley like a plane.
  And the bell bird chirps a lovely song, practising for choir.

Where stray cats wander through the long wavy grass hunting their prey.
And the rocks sit there like houses waiting to break down.

I love this place 
to watch the water, to hear the birds, to have picnics…
It is my happy place.

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I am learning to use personification in my poem we did  a little bit of this last year I have a few ideas. For example angry waves belly flop onto the sand.  I'm not sure if some of my sentences are complete. For example where the Kingfisher glides along the water's edge. I am working on all my sentences, overall I am going well, because I love writing and I do have quite a few ideas. My next step is to pay more attention to my working, usually I think about something else (and forget about writing). And to ask for feedback.




3 comments:

  1. It look like a really nice place

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  2. Lily you are a great writer. I like it how you say
    “the bout dances on top of the shimmering water” it reminds me of at my batch when I'm going in my kayak in the morning. I love the paragraph where you say
    “where the angry waves belly flop onto the sand. And the sand monster sucks my feet in like quicksand.” I adore the part were you say
    “And the rocks sit there like old houses waiting to break down.”

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  3. Well done lily this is so inspirational.
    This is amazing I really like the part where you said where the boat dances on the shimmering water surrounded by harakeke using its long arms to greet me.
    Well done

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